I thought this solution by KNARZ would get quite popular but apparently it didn’t get much attention, maybe because not enough people are using Windows Codename Desktop-Users’-Insult. So in case you are using this horrible OS or for poor folks who get it accidentally or on purpose when it goes on sale, try this:
Mind you, it requires re-activation. If you don’t wish to re-activate Windows, it’s best to install this when you install a fresh copy of Windows 8 and before you activate it / before Windows 8 auto-activates itself. If you don’t want Windows 8 being oversmart and auto-activating itself, see this guide by Chris123NT.